OK.. I admit it. I’m THAT mom.. I am the mom who checks the calendar every day to see when school starts.. I’m the mom that prays multiple times a day for the strength to not scream “I QUIT”, climb a tree, go on strike and get featured by local papers as “Mom of many, snaps like twig, climbs tree.” I am the mom that asks “Is it September yet?” I am the moms that on the last day of school, when the teachers say “have a great summer!” I reply… “yeah… right.. like THAT’S gonna happen!” Because I know what lies ahead of me. And it scares me. SO here I am. Halfway thru the summer. And I am inundated by sandy beach towels, drippy bathing suits, and empty bottles of sunscreen and bug pray, pet clams in buckets hidden in bedrooms and no less than 47 cups in the sink at any given time. I don’t OWN 47 cup…yet there they are… All in my sink…I tried to be the mom that has her act together. I got each kid a cup, and with a sharpie, drew a picture that reflects each child’s personality with their name. I said.. THIS IS YOUR CUP! YOU LOOSE IT! YOU DEHYDRATE! Yeah, well, I don’t have to tell you how well that went…because this morning, there were 17 cups in the sink. Where the heck are they coming from? Do they have a secret cup factory under the house? Are they getting friends to throw them over the fence? Are they buying them online??? Inquiring moms want to know.
Not to mention, they are really getting on each other’s nerves. Here’s an example…The other day, I instructed my 12 year old, Cody to mop the floor in his room. It’s a small room… not much floor. Really, not THAT big a deal. Well, he absolutely positively lost his skull and apparently his sanity all in one fell swoop, and tells me that its “not his job”. Well… as soon as he said THAT.. it DID become HIS job! And ever the opportunistic not-so-little neanderthal TJ, the 13 year old, decides that he needs to tweak Cody as he mops and rants. Now, this is where the story gets a little blurry. Somehow… who knows for real but Cody and God, the extinguisher that had been in their room for YEARS was banged against the door (im sure a little posturing was going on here in an attempt to scare off TJ) and it went off… This is what I heard, from my room down the hall…Cody-”this is nuts, why do I have to mop, its not MY job” (as well as various 12 year old euphemisms I choose not to repeat in this forum) TJ, who is peeking around the wall from the stairwell “squeak squeak squawk squawk”(he likes to make irritating noises that resemble that of a chipmunk) Cody yells at him to shut up, TJ continues more. Cody yells, TJ squeaks.. more yelling, more squeaking…then I heard… BANG! WOOOSSSHHHHHHH…. Followed by screaming and “OMG!” then the sounds of bed creaking as if someone jumped on it ….. then bang!(apparently he ran for the door but couldn’t see thru the dust and ran right into the shut door) There was a bit of a commotion and rustling and TJ comes running down the hall to my room followed by Cody with THE most HORRIFIED look on his face EVER.. and a fairly thick coating of yellow dust as well. Before I can even process what has just happened, Cody is handing over his phone as punishment and babbling about how he was wrong, and made a poor choice, etc. etc. etc. So, in an attempt to properly evaluate the situation (and document it with photographs for any further reference) the three of us went to their room. Not one to miss the entertainment value of this moment, while still trying to remain the responsible adult, I excuse myself to my room where I disintegrate into muffled hysterical laughter.(a well as instant photo posting to my Mobile FaceBook page…lol) I composed myself and made my way back where I found the two of them standing in their room evaluating the damage. TJ picks up the extinguisher… look at it and says.. “I thought there was no air pressure in this thing” followed by WOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHH…. Then Cody , screaming. Sigh…… And you wonder why I’m THAT mom???
Not to mention, they are really getting on each other’s nerves. Here’s an example…The other day, I instructed my 12 year old, Cody to mop the floor in his room. It’s a small room… not much floor. Really, not THAT big a deal. Well, he absolutely positively lost his skull and apparently his sanity all in one fell swoop, and tells me that its “not his job”. Well… as soon as he said THAT.. it DID become HIS job! And ever the opportunistic not-so-little neanderthal TJ, the 13 year old, decides that he needs to tweak Cody as he mops and rants. Now, this is where the story gets a little blurry. Somehow… who knows for real but Cody and God, the extinguisher that had been in their room for YEARS was banged against the door (im sure a little posturing was going on here in an attempt to scare off TJ) and it went off… This is what I heard, from my room down the hall…Cody-”this is nuts, why do I have to mop, its not MY job” (as well as various 12 year old euphemisms I choose not to repeat in this forum) TJ, who is peeking around the wall from the stairwell “squeak squeak squawk squawk”(he likes to make irritating noises that resemble that of a chipmunk) Cody yells at him to shut up, TJ continues more. Cody yells, TJ squeaks.. more yelling, more squeaking…then I heard… BANG! WOOOSSSHHHHHHH…. Followed by screaming and “OMG!” then the sounds of bed creaking as if someone jumped on it ….. then bang!(apparently he ran for the door but couldn’t see thru the dust and ran right into the shut door) There was a bit of a commotion and rustling and TJ comes running down the hall to my room followed by Cody with THE most HORRIFIED look on his face EVER.. and a fairly thick coating of yellow dust as well. Before I can even process what has just happened, Cody is handing over his phone as punishment and babbling about how he was wrong, and made a poor choice, etc. etc. etc. So, in an attempt to properly evaluate the situation (and document it with photographs for any further reference) the three of us went to their room. Not one to miss the entertainment value of this moment, while still trying to remain the responsible adult, I excuse myself to my room where I disintegrate into muffled hysterical laughter.(a well as instant photo posting to my Mobile FaceBook page…lol) I composed myself and made my way back where I found the two of them standing in their room evaluating the damage. TJ picks up the extinguisher… look at it and says.. “I thought there was no air pressure in this thing” followed by WOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHH…. Then Cody , screaming. Sigh…… And you wonder why I’m THAT mom???
my first look at the mess....
Codys footprints in the dust..
notice the broom... this was TJs "whoops" while Cody was TRYING to begin the clean up...
Cute footprints!:)
ReplyDeleteOh, let's start a club of That Moms. You can be the president. I don't particular care for that responsibility.
ReplyDeleteI only have three children and I live in some sort of cup hell. Tried the personalized cups and they all disappeared. Along with the forks, spoons, and socks. Where does this crap go?
Anyway, love your blog!
KAR