Heather has MOVED!

hey guys and gals, since my LiveWriter has decided it is no longer compatible with blogspot I have decided to pack my toys and move to WordPress... I will always be able to be found if you just type in tenkids2dogs at WordPress even though I will no longer be calling my blog The 7the Circle of Hell With Cartoon Characters. Timing is everything as cartoons are fewer and further to come by here anymore save for my not so secret love for Adult Swim at night when everyone else is sleeping....I have chosen a broader title of "tenkids2dogs@home.com" as the blog will be about "kids, food, photographs and other fun stuff....not necessarily in that order."
So come on over, check out my new digs, leave me a note to let me know your still out there, spread the word and have fun... and as always...love, love and laugh...abundantly. <3 H
www.tenkids2dogs.wordpress.com

Garlic, Rosemary and Peppercorn Crusted Roast Beef.

 Tonight, at 6:30, ALL of my kids were at the table before dinner was even ready. A feat never before accomplished. At least not without horse tranquilizers and tasers. I had to blink. I had to look twice, no, three times. I pinched myself. They were all sitting there chatting, laughing, smiling like they actually had some semblance of affection for each other. There is just something about the image of eight kids, all sitting at the table, actually getting along that makes you think its time to see the eye doctor. Or a neurologist…

Not one argument over who sat where, no elbow jabs, no “who farted?” (well, not immediately anyway) and it was all because of a piece of meat.  At 4pm, I took the raw roast and covered it in what Charlie called “green vomit”. “Just smell it Charlie” I said.….ooooooo! ahhhhhhh! yes…. thats it… thats the same sound TylerLee made when she came home from school at 2:30 and smelled it. The same noise Christie, TJs girlfriend made when she smelled it. That is the universal sound that one makes after smelling the pureed combination of salt, rosemary, garlic, peppercorns, parlsey and olive oil.

And despite its fetid, green and black lumpy look, the layers of flavor and aroma trapped inside had an almost Zen-like affect on my children when I started cooking it.

 

  The ingredients are SO simple that if you don't have them at home they are all easily found at your local grocery store.

   Considering the fact  that I have to cook in bulk, the size of the roast and the amounts of the ingredients you will need will VASTLY change for anyone making this for a normal sized family. I made sure to make a conversion chart for you all! Note that YOU are all NORMAL…

 Us..not so much….

 Simply take all the ingredients (but the roast, duh…) and put them in the blender until it becomes a paste. Some of the peppercorns will still be whole. ( I do NOT recommend allowing teen brothers to dare younger brothers to eat the whole peppercorns at dinner, this does not end well. I promise you.) Add extra olive oil if needed to make the mixture wet enough.

I made the paste using the food processor in the a.m. and put it in a  bowl in the fridge.

HINT: fresh, crusty bread dipped in this is not against the rules. Keep in mind, however, double dipping will get you verbally disemboweled by TylerLee if she catches you.

Take the paste and the roast out of the fridge prior to cooking and allow them to become room temperature first.

HOW TO COOK YOUR MEAT:

Sorry kids, we eat our meat rare so that is the only weight of meat vs. time in the oven that I can confirm its accuracy from personal experience. If you MUST ::sigh:: add 5mins per pound for medium. And ::dry heaves:: 10mins more per pound for well.  (gharosssssssaroni!!)

The roast will raise about another 5 degrees while standing. No, it doesnt really stand. It actually settles, and gets all nummy and juicy, and because, as my kids will tell you, I’m nerd and a geek who loves to learn weird crap, I will tell you WHY we let our meat stand before we serve it…

Heat causes proteins to set. Meat = protein. Cooking = heat. The setting proteins shove all the juices to the center of the meat. We have all seen Gordon Ramsey poke his meat on tv. (gosh that sounds terribly inappropraite, hehe) But what he is doing is testing the “doneness” The firmer, the more done, the squishier, the rarer. The “standing” or “setting” once out of the oven allows the juices that were all pushed to the center, time to migrate BACK to the rest of the meat. The result... juicier, flavorful, more tender meat.

If anyone tries to serve you meat that has been cut right off the grill or out of the oven before it has had time to “stand”, stand up and tell them, in a British accent like Gordons “YOU FAT DONKEY! I WONT bleeping EAT THAT bleeping SWILL!” Then duck, because you will probably get hit.

But whatever you do, dont eat it. I will know. And I will find you. And I will bring all 8 kids and 9 dogs with me. 

While the roast, slathered in the green paste of angels wings and babies wishes cooks in the oven, throw in some nice big baking taters. Scrub them good so you can eat the skins. “All the vitamins are in the skins!” Who knew, my mom was right! Steam some broccoli or other favorite veggie. Much to my chagrin, I had to cook 15lbs of potatoes. That is 20 big baking potatoes to be exact. Since my first born has decided to break my heart and turn from all things meat, I am forced try my best to meet my lawful obligation of providing him with sustenance with things like mushroom, potatoes, beans and pasta. But even Mr. Vegetarian (not Vegan, he cant go hard core, just yet…) was under the spell of the great green roast. 

Before I even took one bite, half the roast was already gone, the kids were already asking for seconds and thirds. My pickiest eaters ate till they thought they were going to pop and all I kept hearing was "OMG, Mom! This is sooooo good!"
As I sat at the table, watching them pass plates around, dishes clattering, voices muffled with mouthfuls of roast beef, broccoli and baked potatoes I remember THIS is why Joe and I wanted to have a big family. Dinners just like this. Good ole' family sit-down dinners that seem to have faded into obscurity in the last few decades. 


Dinner is 
a big thing for us. My kids love a night of chicken nuggets and french fries just as much as the next kid, but we tend to be a little more old fashioned around here. Dinner is (usually) every night at 6pm. My kids believe in three things on their plate. A 
protein, a vegetable and a starch and are adamant that corn "just can't be" a starch because they go SO well with mashed potatoes! Who has a 13 year old daughter that ASKS for meatloaf? I DO!
And as I was cooking in our tiny kitchen, all 8 kids were jammed in there with me listening to music, drawing on the new chalk board, peeking in the oven and talking about school, sports and life in general. I couldn't wait for Joe to get home and enjoy the atmosphere with me. The experts are right when they say that family dinners really bring people together and keep parents in touch with their kids... works pretty damn well for us. 

 Pick a family favorite, cook it together, 
sit around the table and enjoy each other.

You know my motto:

live, love and laugh...abundantly!

And don't forget, no table setting is complete without a clear glass bowl full of miniature skull heads and hands!

Happy BLEEPIN’ New Year

Well here we are …. 2011…. Another decade. Another calendar. Another chance to get it right….So many things have happened in 2010 that it boggles the mind how we fit it all in. But we managed and we all came out of it breathing and with a pulse. And as much as I gripe and bemoan about life here with this crazy bunch, I wouldn't change it for the world. TJ, Cody and TylerLee are all managing to delve into the mires of teen angst while remaining honor roll students.  TJ played football for the FIRST time and jumped right onto the same team with kids that have been playing since they were in utero. And he only broke a few fingers! SCORE!  Cody has managed to simultaneously entertain and piss his teachers off all while being their best student and getting straight As. At home he spends his waking hours playing Madden11 and hoarding about 57% of our kitchen plates, cups and silverware under his bed. TylerLee….. well, lets just say TylerLee is a learning experience for both Joe and I… she is the first girl in our family. And we are finding the process to be somewhat…. taxing on us emotionally. The animal kingdom just may have it right where as some species eat their young. Her teen years will be a testament to that, Im sure. But to be fair, TylerLee never gives us any problems other than just the sibling rivalry and expected moodiness. She gets straight A’s, all her teachers adore her. She has a heart of gold and the entire month that I spent in the hospital she ran this house. She is so very mature and responsible at such a young age. She leads a quiet, modest life in this loud, insane house.She is almost ALL her father, thankfully and minimal of her mother.  Kylie… what can we say about Kylie. Great grades, bad eyes, great attitude, bad ears, its a balancing act with her. She keeps us on our toes. As far as filming an episode of Mystery Diagnosis, she was a freakin champ. the “hero shot” for the ending gives me chills every time i think of it. She is a testament to the saying “If He brings me to it, He will bring me thru it”.  The information gathering process for the show was a lot more emotional for me then i expected it to be. I'm still in awe.. At all of us. How the hell did we manage to survive those first few years? I guess we did it on auto pilot. because if we stopped to think about it we never would have made it. And I appreciate Joe and the kids for allowing the process to invade our life this fall. I am indebted to them as most of them said “NO WAY!” when I told them we were asked to do it. But when I explained that my goal was three fold, they understood and agreed. (well..TJ never did but he knew it was that or a life time of no rides to the girlfriends house) A. I wanted to bring exposure to this orphaned disease that most Dr.s only came across once or twice in their education and careers. We need support, we need research. We need a cure. And to get that, we need to expose it for all it does to our families. Our lives. Our children. B. I wanted families with DBA to see Kylies journey. Her obstacles, her struggle. And see her success. To know its possible to live a happy, abundantly blessed life as a child and family that carries the letters DBA sewn into their hearts…If we can do it, so can they! C. and the most important, to me…I hope that a Dr., a neighbor, a parent, a spouse sees this story and says “Oh my God! That is what my child/spouse/loved one  has! It has a name! there are Drs who specialize in it! WE ARE NOT ALONE!” If just one family gets their mystery diagnosed because of her story, then it was ALLLLL worth it.  Next up, Ryan….oh brother love… He has  ::Draft-saved 12/31/2010 12:25 PM ::

And this is where the end of 2010 and  beginning of 2011 smashed into each other like a 12 year old crashing and burning on a sled at a high rate of speed. In fact… that's exactly what happened.  That was where my journaling got cut off by the ringing of my phone and within a half hour I was in the ER with TylerLee getting x-rays on her ever swelling, almost pretty shade of purple, hand, By 4pm Joe was tearing about town shopping for last minute items and then home, furiously preparing the house and food and all its fixins for our annual bash while I brought home the casted and exhausted and temporarily nicknamed “the broken child”, TylerLee. And if we knew that New Years Eves activities are a mere hint of what the entire month of January was going to look like for us, Joe and I would have packed our bags and hitchhiked to Cuba before Snookie had a chance to roll out of her bedazzled New Years ball and right into oncoming traffic. Forget the fact that its illegal for Americans to visit Cuba or that neither one of us has a passport, because we are fully prepared to take up sanctuary at Guantanamo Bay as opposed to the war zone infirmary that this house has become in the last 19 days.

Less than three weeks into 2011 and we have had the “broken child” surgically repaired, out of state. TylerLee, Kylie and Jordyn are being evaluated for PVC’s (a cardiac rhythm irregularity that can require catheterization and ablation ), two are hooked up like hybrid cars to 30 day cardiac event monitors, two are scheduled for stress tests, Charlie had to be doped up and have his two front teeth manually yet gently yanked from his head thanks to an abscess, Joes had skin biopsies that received positive results on the kind of tests no one wants positives on, so come February he will undergo a series of Mohs surgeries and have a trial with some chemotherapy cream in hopes of avoiding more invasive treatments. And then there's, me… and that mythical. magical omentum. As much as I have read up on it, I am chagrined to admit I still have no friggin clue what it is, what it does, or what were gonna do with mine. As the days pass, I look at the shifting, lumpy, globular “thing” that has replaced what used to be my belly button and think of “The Blob”.  It doesn't actually look like the blob, but say there was a “Littlest Pet Shop” pet blob. THATS what it would look like. Small, seemingly harmless, squishes when you poke it. Its my very own “Littlest Pet Blob”. Just ask Ryan and Kylie.. I let them poke it, Kylie nearly puked, Ryan thought it was the most awesome thing EVER! All that and its only the 19th of January. It cannot be any wonder why I choose to write the date as 20he11 every given chance, can it?

I have two theories on the cause of our current state of affairs thus far… Either A,) God is filling our “challenges to be met” quota early on as to leave the rest of the year free for unhindered joys and abundant blessings, or B.) The Myans really botched up their calendar and the rapture is upon us… JUST US! Either or are entirely possible, at the moment, its a crap shoot.

So, yeah… sorry my New Years update was about 3 weeks late, Sorry I never followed my thought process, to round up each childs year of successes and escapades in a few sentences, All laced with love and laughter, entwined in the chaos that is us Monica's and wrapped up nicely in a positive, uplifting cheer for to enjoy a happy new year. But alas, it was not meant to be. So instead, I will take the reality of all of the things that 20he11 has brought to us thus far and wear them like badges of honor. I will carry them in my pockets like hall passes or Dr.s excuse notes. So when I get caught going batshit, or breaking down into a puddle of blathering omentum, I can pull out all my reasons and lie them on the table. Literally and metaphorically.

Lets just hope Nancy Grace has a good sense of humor when I'm her lead story,,,,,,

Live, love and laugh,  kids…. no matter what!